There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
~ Edith Wharton
Once upon a time, I called myself a blogger. And even more recently, I called myself a writer.
I was the person that people would refer their friends and fellow solopreneurs to to help them find clarity with their business. I could help women fine tune their passion and give voice to their purpose.
I was a rockstar. And I was totally loving what I was doing.
And then I wasn’t.
Once upon a time, I was a creator.
I was always writing something. Always filming something. Making plans. Making lists.
My head was constantly buzzing with new ideas and creative ways to share with my community.
And then I wasn’t.
It was like the fire went out. It was like I had nothing to say.
So I decided to take a step back.
Some might say that I disappeared or went into hiding. But that’s not it. Well, that’s not really it. I will admit to maybe hiding a little.
Like so many things, it started slowly. Looking back, I’d probably say that it all started as a cross between feeling overwhelmed and feeling unheard.
You see, once upon a time, I was trying to do it all.
And then STUFF kinda happened.
I started feeling unfulfilled with my clients. Not that I didn’t like my clients – I did, I loved them! But I wasn’t getting joy from working with them. It wasn’t filling me up like it used to.
Then it went on to my desire to do more at school with my students and with my job. I was inspired by wanting to get deeper into ed tech and take on more of an administrative role. Which was great…since you know, I wasn’t feeling the work I was doing with my clients.
But even that fell short when I went on a few interviews and realized I didn’t respect the organizations I was interviewing with. When you’ve spent time helping people create clarity and systems for their business, seeing places without clarity, systems or vision in place…that wasn’t easy.
I had to learn pretty quickly to let things go.
I had to be able to discern which mess was mine (to own and to resolve and release) and which mess belonged to someone or some other organization and I was merely taking it on. And often trying to fix it.
Which was later something that I had to deal with on a much more personal, close to home matter (or three). Which I may or may not get around to discussing at some point.
But I’m not here to apologize for disappearing or for hiding.
I am here to say that once again, I feel like I have something to say.
I have something B I G to share.
I just need a little more time to sit with it and get to know it. Maybe play with it a little, go out on a coffee date, get a pedicure together. Just you know…have fun with it.
Which of course means that I still need to work some stuff out. For instance, if I’m no longer working with small business clients, then who will I be working with? If I’m not longer interested in going deeper in ed tech, am I still happy (or joy-filled) with teaching.
Lucky for me – and for you – I’m finally ready to get on that. I’m ready to figure it out.
I think a part of me needed this time to disconnect. I needed this time away so that I could separate the who I was from the who I am.
So expect to be hearing from me again. With some interesting stuff. Some new stuff. Some different stuff.
I won’t make any promises.
After all, this is all about me and what I want and need out of the life I live and how I choose share my gifts with the world.
But I’ll be here. And you’ll most definitely be hearing from me.
And hey…if you think I’ve disappeared, feel free to drop me a note. I know you know how to reach me.
I’m super psyched about the next leg of our journey together.