“I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I’d just been myself.”
~ Brittany Renée

As we’re knee deep in the holiday season and the end of year, have you noticed yourself getting caught up in the shoulds?

should would couldYou know, the I should do this? I should do that?

Then there’s the she said I should…

And the he said I should…

And the one we place so much value on, the experts say I should…

The thing is, living our lives for shoulds – and for others – doesn’t do us any good. [click to tweet]

My mentor, Christine Kane taught me that if it’s not a “hell yes!” then by default it can only be an “oh hell, no.” Sometimes I forget this. But really, it’s so simple, yet also so accurate. If we’re not so exciting about doing something, then we don’t need to worry about doing it.

And I realize that sometimes there’s guilt involved. Oh lordy do I realize that!

We worry about what would happen if we say “no.” We worry how they’ll be able to do it without us. We wonder what others will think of us. We beat ourselves up.

But you know what, there’s nothing wrong with saying “no.” There’s no harm in not doing what he, she or the experts say you SHOULD do.

It’s your business. It’s your life.

And more importantly, it’s your choice. [click to tweet]

Unfortunately, I don’t have any simple, 3-step list of suggestions for you. This is all part of your personal journey. This is where you figure out what works for you, what’s important to you, and what’s not.

But I can let you know that you’re not alone. And I can be here to offer up some support.

And I can remind you that you are exactly where you should be (ha, I said should!). And if that means you’re going to continue beating yourself up and getting caught up in the shoulds, than that’s fine for you. If that means that you see that there’s no point on beating yourself up or falling for the guilt-laced shoulds, that’s that’s perfect for you as well.

Like I said earlier, the choice is entirely up to you.

Just know that if you do decide to dump the shoulds and the obligations and you make a choice that now is the time for letting Little Miss Nicey Nice take a backseat, there will be some folks that will not be happy with you. But you don’t have to let that bring you down.

That my smart friend, is their shit and has nothing to do with you (I have a future article or hell, an entire class or workbook in the works around this topic alone).

And if you need some clarity for your business (and your life) goals for closing out your 2013 and creating your 2014, I invite you to check out my Goal Setting Basics: Everything You Need to Know to Create Your Best Year Ever workbook I think you might find it helpful.

And while we’re at it, let’s make that pact…

For the remainder of 2013, I will not give in to the guilt and the noise of the SHOULDs.

Smooches, ____________.

ACTION PLAN: Set aside some time this week to create three lists…Delegate, Ditch, and Do. Become clear in what no longer serves you and your business (or your life) and make a clear decision around it…delegate it, ditch it, or do it. And be proud of yourself for taking that step.


  • Jennifer Hofmann

    This is exactly what I’ve been thinking about, Katy. I have this audacious, okay, *terrifyingly exciting* plan for 2014 and am working hard to keep it simple (my word for the year). At the same time, I’m working hard to keep it free of shoulds and trust my own direction. So thank you for the article and the encouragement to stay the course I’m on!

    • Can’t wait to hear about the new plans, Jennifer. You can do it, kick those shouldas, wouldas, and couldas to the curb!!

  • Victoria Farrell-Gollihugh

    For the most part, I am successful at not using *should*. I learned that from my Mom while I was still a kid. Thankfully! What a great lesson! I hope others who have not incorporated this will do so now! 🙂

    • Oh, good on you Victoria. Those shoulds can sometime sneak in there.

  • Yes I have those 3 things to do this year as I declutter both my mind, my computer and my house 🙂

    • Right on Suzie! I spent last year working on my mind. The computer has been a bit ongoing (crashes can have that effect – LOL). The house…well, there are still 350-something days left, right?

  • Trisha_Barnes

    Love the suggestion to delegate, ditch and do! It reminds me of the process we went through downsizing from a house to our camper-three piles were made – keep, give, trash. Never thought about using the same process with business! Thanks for the inspiration, Katy!

    • Delegate, ditch, or do…works every time! 😉