I’ve heard it said on many occasions that much like in relationships where there’s someone for everyone, the same goes for coaches.

Yes, you and the 1oo other coaches might all work on improving your overall well being through proper nutrition.  Or maybe you and the 100 coaches all take on social networking or mid-life crisis…or whatever your particular niche may be.

But really, there’s no such thing as competition.

How can there be when we’re really not selling ourselves, but our results and processes.  And of course, your clients wouldn’t have decided to work with you if they didn’t first get to know, like and trust you.

And let’s face it…everyone is different and not everyone will mesh. What works for one person, might not work for you or might even turn you off completely.

This became glaringly clear to me last week.  A colleague had posted that she had a free ticket to a weekend coaching event with a “famous” coach (who is known for being a bit of a hard ass – not a judgement as this is relevant to the story).  I left a comment saying that I might have been interested, but since it was across country (in less than 2 weeks), I’ll pass.

The coach then popped on the conversation and pointed out that “success doesn’t come to you, you have go out and get it.”  I agreed and said as much, adding that sometimes the timing just isn’t right.

At this point, the coach really let it go with her hard ass coaching.

She went on to point out that the timing wasn’t an issue and I was interested enough when it was in my backyard, but now that I was going to have to spend some money, time and/or energy I wasn’t interested.  And this went on for quite a few comments, with others piping in with their pro-coach support of how they’d move Heaven, Earth and sell a lung or their first born to work with this woman.

I respect this woman, and I respect her coaching style.  And in many ways, I totally agree with what she was saying.

But, that said, I do happen think there’s a HUGE difference between wanting to participate in something that’s free and available and in your own town as compared to something that’s free to attend but requires two cross-country flights (under the two-week advance purchase window), multiple hotel nights and transportation and food costs.  We’re talking a comparison of maybe $100 in gas, parking and food locally vs. $1500 or more…not to mention the time investment of 3 days vs 5 or more days (depending on flight schedules).

I could see how anyone could go from a “yeah, sure, it could be fun” to an “um, no thanks, I just not that interested.”  But really, the details of why it wouldn’t work really weren’t all that important.

Hell, I once had to give away an (almost all expenses paid – not extra lodging or food) trip to London along with a free roundtrip airline ticket to anywhere British Airways flew because I just couldn’t afford the time off or the added expenses involved with the trip.

Let’s face it, sometimes, the timing just isn’t right and our schedule doesn’t work with us.  I’ve found though that the next time an opportunity like that comes along, you jump at it recognizing that it’s right for right now.

That’s how I started working with one of my coaches, Christine Kane.  I tried on three different occasions to book one of her retreats.  Each time I tried, something held me (or my friend) back or got in the way.  So when she started offering her Uplevel Your Life program (based on some of the exercises she lead at her retreats), I jumped at the opportunity.

So back to the original story and my point of this article…

I found this whole back and forth to be nothing short of bullying (granted, I was a willing participate).  But at this point, I realized that this hard ass coach was totally not the sort of coach that I could work with.

I would never feel comfortable expressing myself for fear of being ridiculed.  I would doubt if I was doing something because I wanted to do it or if I was being pressured into it.  I would be working with a different kind of client…as I myself would be a different kind of coach.

Abraham-Hicks teaches us that you don’t know what you want, until you know what you don’t want.  So I thank this coach for helping me to refine my practice, my niche and my definition of success.

But more importantly, I remember that there is an “other half” for everyone  and there really isn’t any competition once you realize that everyone has different styles and different techniques.

Any way you slice it…we work – and play, and live, and love – with those we know, like and trust.

So let go of that fear holding you back telling you that you can’t do something because someone else is already doing it.  Instead, reach out to them and see if you could possibly work together. Or just move on knowing that your right people are waiting for you…you just need to get out there and introduce yourself to them.